I Smell a Rat

Article by Jaymes Marsh

The stench that persists in oozing from the White Hart Lane boardroom has most definitely gained in strength and supremacy. Tottenham Hotspur, once London’s pride has, in its own diminutive way, caused a ruckus in the sporting world.

Something is terribly wrong at Tottenham at the moment. The current league placing isn’t helping the situation either. There seems to be no end to the shenanigans that commenced in August.

Ramosgate broke loose and with it, a rampaging wagon that provided the best seats in the house for all media alike. As this figurative carriage gained momentum, the results on the pitch lay in slumber. No flair, no desire, not even a spark could ignite the playing staff, for Martin Jol, once the hero of days past, stood as firm as a downhearted and dejected man ought to.

The Dutchman’s burning pride flickered like a dying coal and the heat emitted from his charismatic charm faded before it could bear a reaction from the players. The £40 million had been spent in vain and no longer could Jol hide away from the blazing fact that his boss, Mr. Levy, was sharpening the knife that would eventually be thrust into the back of the latter hero.

This undermining lead to a turn of events from which there was no return; a one way ticket toward the exit loomed for the Dutchman and his camp.

It’s the naivety of the Tottenham Hotspur board that I find so truly hard to muster. Of course, management have the right to replace any member of staff without question. It is though, an utterly naïve conception to arrive at the conclusion that not all is lost. These fragile matters should be handled with the serenity and care that a crystal maker would put into their achievements. Unfortunately, the Tottenham Hotspur boardroom members have been acting like a baggage handler nearing the end of his shift at a two-bit airport terminal, not worrying about the consequences of damaging yet another suitcase.

We cannot put the blame on anyone at present, although I do have my suspicions. I am sure though, that the same person (or persons) that was responsible for disclosing to the Guardian newspaper the time, date, location and agenda of the meeting in Andalucía, Spain, also caused the stench that trickled from the boardroom at approximately 7:15pm yesterday evening.

If Tottenham are to move forward as a club, the damaged good(s) which sit(s) upon the fine stitched leather seat(s) should be found and disposed of immediately. Mr. Levy needs to put his ship back in order if he is to maintain his ambition of selling the club to the highest bidder.

The latest news will not endear kindly to Tottenham Hotspur PLC’s share price either. This fiasco must be halted before the City of London peer its beady eyes into the clubs misfortunes. Once the vultures begin to circle, the share price could drop, and with it, Mr. Levy’s dream of making his enormous profit.

Godspeed Mr. Levy, the floor is all yours.